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The Country’s Worst Jackasses October 7, 2009

Posted by Maddog in Politics and Law, Religion and Social Issues.
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Along with the good things in life, there are the bad. And then there are the really rotten eggs. So here’s a list guaranteed to ruin any ice cream you’ve got: The Five Worst Jackasses in the Philippines.

Just one thing before we get started. If you don’t agree with my choices, then make your own. Just don’t put me on it. I deserve a list all to myself.

1. Congressman Edcel Lagman

The principal author and most prominent congressional pusher of the RH/abortion Bill (aka HB 5043), this unscrupulous Trapo (traditional politician) got his sick “reproductive health” (RH) Bill from radical NGOs that are funded by foreign abortion rights groups. As expected, the draconian Bill will sneak abortion into the country by funding the distribution of abortifacient contraceptives all over the country. What’s worse is that he wants to force others to assist him in his dirty work by threatening doctors and health workers who refuse to dispense these or to make referrals with imprisonment and heavy fines. To top it off, his Bill even seeks to punish those who speak out against it! So much for choice and free speech. How anti-democracy can you get?

Of course, he’ll never admit the real agenda behind the RH advocacy, which is eventual legalization of some form of abortion in the Philippines. He will continue to sugar-coat it for public consumption. This guy takes the cake. He is a danger to all unborn children. Vote him out of Congress! My song for this two-faced, despot wannabe: “Dirty Work,” by The Rolling Stones.

2. and 3. Erap and Gloria Arroyo

Among the biggest mistakes made by Filipinos were giving these two their chances to run our government: the former for only a mercifully short but brain-dead period; the latter for way too long. Both have shafted the Filipino people royally.

More bad news: Erap may be running for President again — I can see the dark clouds gathering! Come on, people! Do we really want a convicted plunderer running the country again? We replaced him with GMA, but she was more than a disappointment. GMA pardoned him out of political expediency. Her principles sure went out the window with that one. And she is still ruining our political and judicial institutions. Can’t we find a way to jail her too?

Erap and his lapdogs don’t even understand what decent governance is; GMA and her sycophants couldn’t care less. Both will take whatever power and money they can get their grubby hands on if given half a chance. They deserve each other. No way should they — or their accomplices — ever be allowed to get anywhere close to holding a government position ever again.

A pox on both their houses! My song for this gang of thieves: “Won’t Get Fooled Again,” by The Who.

4. The clod who thought of LTO Administrative Order (AO) AHS-2008-15.

This LTO AO contained unbelievably idiotic provisions that restricted motorcycle modifications, requiring owners to get clearances from the LTO before they could improve their machines. When this was enforced, people could, in theory, be caught and fined for simply changing tires and mufflers! Such an imposition would have endangered motorists and was patently unlawful to begin with. It belongs right up on top of the idiocy totem pole along with Bayani Fernando’s idea requiring plate numbers on motorcycle helmets!

This wondrous bit of stupidity from the LTO generated a massive motorcade and rally of thousands of motorcyclists one Saturday in front of the regional LTO office. This was followed by a petition against the AO that bore over 25,000 signatures. Way to go people. Sock it to the LTO!

Equal Opportunity Time! I have information that the author was a female senior official in the main LTO in Manila. She knows who she is, and I do too. This woman should be fired before she endangers more people. My song for this clown: “Teenage Lobotomy,” by The Ramones.

5. The schmuck who stole my first digital camera.

Yeah, you got it, whoever you are. You set me back twelve big ones with your little shenanigan. It’s personal, this time. You are on my nasty-doo list.

By the way, the photo dealers have got that camera’s serial number on the watchlist. Try selling it or getting it repaired at a legit place, dude. I hope you get nailed. And even if they don’t catch you, I’ve got a good hunch you’ll pay in the end.

My song for this scumbag: “Little Robbers,” by The Motels.

6-10. Imelda Marcos.

Wasn’t this woman convicted of several thousand counts of human rights violations? Don’t criminals belong in jail? Why the heck is she still moving around scot-free?

Now I’ve heard she is thinking of getting her son to run for President! Good grief! Haven’t we suffered enough under the Marcoses? Like the Israelites wanting to return to Egypt, are we Filipinos so stiff-necked as to long for the benighted past whenever the present is difficult?

Another Marcos reign is not something anyone should look forward to. Our national sanity would not withstand it. Just think what it would be like: Imeldific might build some giant glass bowl on top of Malacanang to catch cosmic rays for good luck.

My song for this shoe collector: The Looney Tunes theme (“The Merry-Go-Round Broke Down” by Dave Franklin and Clif Friend)

Note: This article appeared in the September 24, 2009 edition of Bliss at Cebu Daily News. The layoput and text can be viewed on the Bliss at Cebu Daily News FaceBook page.

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